It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
