Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
