You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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