Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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