it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize