I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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