don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
