Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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