1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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