that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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