Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
