Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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