he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
