Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
smell my finger.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
