Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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