Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I am morally bankrupt
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
