so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
