guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize