i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
