I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
