ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
