apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize