so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
