Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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