just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
