So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
