So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I looked at my own cervix.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
