he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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