I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
