So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
