I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
