lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize