Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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