Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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