Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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