with your own penis?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
