she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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