We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
