Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's official drugs can't kill me
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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