We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
