So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
