also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize