So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
