He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
