We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
