i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
