I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
