the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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