i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize