Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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