I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
