i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
