it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
