But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
