I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
