yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
