Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize