I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
