flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
