So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
