yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
ttyl tear gas
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
