didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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