Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
