i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Drunk is not a location!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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