Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
