There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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