Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
