she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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