The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
