If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
