i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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