The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
