She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Say something about gay babies.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
