he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
