why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
