i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
