everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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