i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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